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Christmas cheer runs out when returning gifts

...have lots of socks and handkerchiefs every January. * * * SCIENCE FARE: School's still out, but that didn't stop Ruth Tewes from passing along these examples, supposedly included on science papers turned in by real children.: "Some people...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2002/12/27/kir_366134.shtml
Bill Kirby
Innocence apparent in wisdom

...things. -- Plato We are advised that wisdom sometimes comes from the mouths of babes. You might get a laugh, as well. Ruth Tewes sends a long a list of old-fashioned proverbs that a third-grade teacher asked her young charges to complete. See...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/1999/11/19/kir_274965.shtml
Bill Kirby
Sometimes the biggest story isn't the news

...can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire? * * * TODAY'S RIDDLE: This one comes from Ruth Tewes. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose among three rooms. The first is full of raging fires. The second...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2002/05/21/kir_346363.shtml
Bill Kirby | Augusta National Golf Club
Gender of computers is debatable

...feminine forms for words like other languages, so I guess we'd have to guess. Here are the two sides, according to Ruth Tewes: Women might conclude computers should be referred to in the masculine gender because: In order to get their attention...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2000/01/28/kir_281270.shtml
Bill Kirby
Longer days mean losing treasured hour of sleep

...DAY: The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. TODAY'S JOKE: This one comes from Ruth Tewes: A fourth-grade teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes. When she returned, she found the children in perfect...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2003/03/07/kir_368189.shtml
Bill Kirby
Fur might fly when protecting bird feeders

...my high school geography class. I still say it that way sometimes. TODAY'S JOKE: For many years faithful reader Ruth Tewes sent me dozens of jokes, and I ran many of them in this space. Ruth, a retired Army lieutenant colonel, died Friday...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2008/12/23/kir_505052.shtml
Bill Kirby
Everybody in South Carolina must be taking a vacation

...Augusta Chronicle, 725 Broad St., Augusta, GA 30901. l TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one shared by longtime contributor Ruth Tewes. An off-duty police officer, familiar with radar speed-checking equipment, drove through a school zone within...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2006/06/27/kir_86833.shtml
Bill Kirby
The winter storm scam makes fools of us again

...53-year-old candidate was born on a farm in Kansas 68 years ago." * * * TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one passed along by Ruth Tewes. A man hated his wife's cat, and he decided to get rid of it. He drove 20 blocks away from home and dropped the...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2002/12/06/kir_362603.shtml
Bill Kirby
Local writers take a peek into the history of Augusta

...a husband says after that is the beginning of another argument. * * * TODAY'S JOKE: Here's one passed along by Ruth Tewes. "How long have you been driving without a taillight?" asked the policeman after pulling over a motorist. The driver...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2002/09/24/kir_354275.shtml
Bill Kirby
See how you stack up as a shopper

...after 6 p.m. Christmas Eve. * * * TODAY'S JOKE: This observation on holiday gift-buying was passed along by Ruth Tewes: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. If you have the dough, buy your man a big-screen TV with the little picture...

http://chronicle.augusta.com/stories/2001/12/14/kir_326159.shtml
Bill Kirby