...Honey," he said, "that explains the doilies, but what about all of this money?" "Oh," she said, "that's the money I made from selling the doilies." Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute." Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...illumination promotes warmth and warmth promotes friendships and friendships promote visitors. Come, on, I say. We'll leave the light on for you. Several, usually. Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...first time watched as the ushers passed around the offering plates. When they came near his pew, the boy said loudly, "Don't pay for me, Daddy. I'm under 5." Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...Creek (N.C.) can't be beat!" TODAY'S JOKE: Sign on office wall: "Everyone brings joy to this office ... Some when they enter and others when they leave!" Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...written a check? Well, do so again. Mail it to Bill State University, where our motto is: "BS is No. 1." We hope to go to a major bowl this football season. Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...hope to pass my grad school language exam when I return to the U.S." * * * TODAY'S JOKE: Bob's wife made him join a bridge club. He jumps off next Tuesday. Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...degrees." He also sends a card from Hoover Dam. * * * TODAY'S THOUGHT: Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level, then beat you with experience. Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...Billy Cooper of North Augusta. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting she won't change, and she does. Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.

...grow on a high-altitude peak - the sort of pinnacle where a Sean Connery character sits and savors life's victories, while dreaming of the folly of lost follicles. Reach Bill Kirby at (706) 823-3344 or bkirby@augustachronicle.com.